Night Time Diaries Part 2

Blink blink blink goes the cursor. What an enigmatic existence I lead after the lights out :D Music blasts through my ears at full volume and I subtly continue to bob my head along to the beat. Once I start writing, it's hard to stop. Its an addictive drug.

Nerd glasses?

-Check

Comfy pillow?

-Check

Covers to keep me toasty

-Check

Well, it looks like we're all set. Lets delve into the mystic world of black and grey shall we?

Sometimes soltitude in silence is not enough. Sometimes I feel the need to escape further from the noisy noisy world.

Which is why this time, instead of a ramble, I shall write a poem.

Now, I'm just gonna wing it, so I warn you, it may not make much sense :D

But read on any ways... Tap tappity tap tap

Purple moonlight and silvery grey stars

The wind beneath my sails,

A whisper from Mars

Sweet and sublime, an ocean of dreams

No boundaries no limits

As vast as it seems

Curiouser and curiouser, Alice's world down the hole

Birds soar the azure

Monkeys swing from the pole

We dance in the rain, we walk to the light

We revel in the glow

Of velvet so bright

We search and we seek, our purpose on earth

Why are we here?

On Gaia our hearth

The pale blue ocean and the swell of the seas

The misty grey sky

Atomic green trees

God has a plan, a plan for us all

Are we just pawns

Waiting for a call?

Or are we the masters of free will enchained

Purple moonlight and grey

Plus silver maintained

So there you have it! :D

I'm done.

Sooo my question is,

What is our purpose here on Earth?

Night Time Diaries Part 1

My neck is messed up and my head hurts.

But tonight, I don't feel like sinking into silence. Tonight, I feel like typing away. My room is pitch dark, patches of it illuminated by the white glare coming off the screen of my laptop. A small section of my blue and white stripy wall; (that I jokingly refer to as Obelix's pyjamma) is all that is visible of my own little sanctuary from the world.

The night is silent. That silence is only broken by the low hum of my fan as it goes about its business. And of course by my tapping :D

Distant memories of a delicious cheesecake and insignificantly tasty dinner do come to mind but it feels like they are from a different slice of the universe. Once the door to my room closes, I am in my own space time quantum.

The land of the lonely ones. I believe that it is in isolation that we truly understand ourselves, because it is in absolute isolation that the voice inside our head asks all those questions.

Night time is beautiful. I don't understand why humans are such puny, photo-dependent creatures. Being nocturnal is MUCH more fun.

I take pictures with my crappy low quality iPod camera and then I laugh at my own pretentiousness. Even by the faint emissions of my screen, I feel the need to whip out my cam and click away.

I feel like a caveman from the days of yore, sitting in his dark cave, basking in the dim glow of his crude (albeit in my case it is 'exceptionally advanced') light source, telling tales to emptiness. I recall I remember the bygones and then I ponder some more upon what is still to come.

Whoever said that we teenagers are mindless things???

There is far too much on our minds, so sometimes we forfeit the present in favor of what WAS and what COULD have been. I heartily enjoy doing this, rambling like an old timer with all the time in the world at his disposal; after all, did I not mention the space time continuum?

I can barely bend my head now, it hurts far too much. But I am very much in favor of making suchlike nightly rambles a daily thing. What say fellow denizens of netspace?

God Complex

On the first day there was silence

The second day, there was God

The third day came the humans

But by the fourth, we forgot.

On the fifth day came the Holy Ones

We crucified Adam and Eve

The first born son on the sixth

We buried our prestige

Deities came and went, and on the seventh we remained

We erected the temples

Our bibles maintained

We worshiped the wind

We worshiped ourselves

We worshiped outsiders

Wrote books for the shelves

We forged our own chains

We dug our own graves

Locked the sheep in their cages

We were the slaves

God.

The Almighty One.

It is comforting, is it not, to believe that someone else is in-charge of your destiny? That a mystic force up there can wave a magic wand and miraculously make it all right?

God is dead, said Nietzsche. God remains dead, and we have killed him.

Weren't we the ones who created God in the first place? Hasn't the concept God since time immemorial always been to comfort our own selves that we could rely on something bigger than our puny bodies?

We are specks of light in this dark abyss and sometimes, hope falters. The weak ones need a cushion for their broken dreams and a comforter for their desires when their efforts weren't enough. We are too full of ourselves to even CONSIDER taking full blame for out actions.

"It was luck. It was ill-fated. Maybe GOD meant it to be"

What sort of a God would let his son be crucified on the cross?

Yes, faith shatters. After all, wasn't Christ the biggest scapegoat in existence?

What sort of a God would take away your loved ones?

Where was God during the Tsunami? Where was God during the destruction of Japan?

Did he feel that perhaps his children were being too naughty, so they had to be rebuked?

What kind of a God deems it fit for child molesters and rapists to breathe the same air as the innocents?

God is in the T.V. God, is in our head. We created him, we appease him, and we killed him. It is the end of times, grab your prayer books everybody because you're in for a rough ride. Narcissistic and broke, our mirror images become reflecting deities. Subconsciously, we loathe our hedonistic traits, since slavery was a trait drilled into our heads.

So we punish ourselves, and dear old Dad in heaven gets the blame.

How many of us can truly confess to seeking God WITHOUT some demand in mind?

How many of us can honestly say that the last time we prayed, it was unselfishly?

As humans, most of us are flimsy excuses for mankind. Devoid of emotion and empathy, clutching rosaries made of the skin and bone of others toil.

The true believers are the ones so deluded in their search for this higher Power that they isolate themselves from us doubters.

And of course we have the preachers, the propagators, who make God their business, making a pretty penny while manufacturing brainwashed sheep at this factory of fanaticism.

God is a crutch for the weak. A beggar, who comes up to your car, will always ask for a donation in "God's name" He doesn't care for the blessings of your "God", all he wants is some money.

So, do I believe in God?

No.

But I am not opposed to the idea of a true force that unites us all, coz after all, I am only Human, and Hypocrisy is injected in my blood. I admit, the idea of being all alone in this vast universe, is terrifying. So I seek answers, so I question and offend people. All in the hope; that maybe someday, I may be able to answer the questions that keep me awake at night.

But then, it is never polite to shove religion down the throats of unwilling masses is it?

Beauty, Gouge out the glass eyes

Beauty.

It's a very subjective topic.

Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder. Looking beautiful has a different meaning for everyone. However, we the people, are stuck in this never ending quest to find beauty.

To capture the elusive aura that is perfection. It is one thing to be concerned about your looks, however it is a totally separate matter to obsess over the opinions of other people.

We destroy ourselves in an innate effort to look good, to be perfect.

Layers on top of layers - Mascara, blush, eyeliner, eyeshadow, lipstick, lip balm... it goes on and on.

Vanity is not found only on the runway.

No.

Vanity is the guy standing in front of a mirror, taking hours to fix his tie, telling himself it is perfect.

Vanity is the teen, spending an eternity on his hair, telling himself it is perfect.

Vanity manifests in our reflection, after all, self depreciation is an art form rarely practiced.

Tears, giggles, blood sweat and ink. The pictures say it all. Our world is truly a dark one. Nothing ever actually fades away, nor does it leave a mark permanent enough. We burn all the good things to warm ourselves on the embers.

Asphyxiation.

Silent suffocation under layers and layers of false promise while anguished souls try to clamber out. THAT is society in a nutshell. Mechanical humans who love you when the limelight is shining. The moment it turns to someone else, "poof" go your dreams.

You are an untouchable.

Being different is like signing your own death warrant. We are young and we love it. We contort our limbs, twist and turn to be able to fit into the box society wants us in. It is the era of irony. We humans proudly wear the labels our peers assign to us, all the while chanting "I'm unique, I'm unique"

It's a funny world. Funnier so, when placed on a paper platter to be dissected by millions of people per day, who laugh it off and shrug, "That can't be me, I'm unique, I'm unique"

School and Weekend Rituals........ Wait, WHAT?

You know, if life is a bitch, school is a friggin hungry pitbull on steroids crossed with a T-Rex.... That's right, you can't and you DON'T mess with it. God... It seems like even when you're out of school this damn establishment finds a way to haunt you. The luxury of each evening you go out to play is overshadowed by the prospect of returning to school the next day. Even Weekends lose their charm because they end so early and it's back to school. And I'm a man who takes his Weekends VERY seriously. You may have noticed by now that I am writing "weekends" as Weekends, with a capital "W". That's coz I don't consider them as regular days. No siree! Weekends are treated with somewhat of a reverence. It's ALL about the rituals. Yes. Rituals. I know it sounds seriously creepy like I'm some kind of weirdo (I'm not!! REALLY!!) but I have a certain set of rules to be followed on my Saturday and Hell will freeze over if I break them. #1. Absolutely NO getting up before 11. Even if I have to crawl under the sheets and drug myself back to sleep if I wake up early, I'm doing it because there is no ways I'm getting out of that bed before 11. Unless Bill Gates shows up and says he's gonna give me his money. That's a different thing. (I'm not fickle-minded for saying that am i? DON'T JUDGE ME!!) #2. No baths before noon. Yes. That is right, call me disgusting, call me gross, call me whatever (wait, on second thoughts, DON'T!) but i DO NOT shower or bathe before noon. Never. Not happening on a Weekend. It just seems so.... WRONG. #3. Breakfast and Lunch are eaten in succession, in front of T.V. Basically, since my sleeping pattern is screwed, Breakfast and Lunch end up being eaten one after another. And yeah, MAJOR senseless TV watching. That is like a must. It's my mantra for a good Weekend.. You know, if school teaches you multi-tasking, i.e. copying answers from a friends notebook while pretending to listen to the teacher, talking to another friend while keeping an eye out for the teacher, Weekends show you a thing or two about Multi- Tasking (or as I like to call it "Multi-Relaxing") too. For example - How to eat you food while sitting on the bed with the laptop in front of you, listening to music and watching TV while browsing Facebook. Yup, Weekends are pretty amazing too! Too bad we can't have like a week of Weekends... I'd love that............ Anyways, sorry for being M.I.A. for so long.... I promise I'll update more frequently.....
Ciao,
Taksh

Adoloscence

The mood swings, the over-confidence, the 'I-am-always-right' attitude, the physical & mental changes. All of us are familiar with this part of our life. Adoloscence. A short, tumultous time of life during which we make some of the most imortant desicions and gain truck loads of knowledge through experience. During adoloscence, each child struggles to find his identity amidst the thousands he is surrounded by. Many pull through and are able to carve a niche fo themeselves, others find themselves as just another face in the crowd. We as adoloscents, or young adults, as our elders so fondly call us, face so many issues while making through this time. Many, if we choose it to be so, can teach us valuable lessons and take us to heights, or leave us scarred for life. Many adoloscents feel what they're going through - anger, resentment, angst - are beyond their control and give up. I say that we CAN channel our energy positively. Some of the greatest works of art, peices of literature, discoveries, inventions have been the result of anger well-channelled. I feel that adoloscence is just another roller coaster in the carnival of life. It has its ups & downs. We can either get off it exhilerated, no doubt, dizzy but braver than before; or end up shaky and puking in the corner.

Remember, Life is what you make it.

Ciao,

Taksh